Kendall and Sabrina

moving on.

The time has come for me to move on from the publicly accessible blog, to a private one. With the help of SiteMeter, which tracks blog activity - it has come to my attention that a large number of strangers from a plethora of countries in a short span of time have stopped in to check on my ramblings. This fact, particularly given the fact that there are now photos of our most wonderful son on this blog, makes me hesitant to continue making the blog so readily available.

I do, however, hope that you would join me at our new and now private blog.

You will need to have a google account...which I don't know how to get, as Kendall got ours - so leave a post if you're confused and I'll find out for you. I will also have to authorize you as a reader, so feel free to fire an email to me at sabrina_friesen@yahoo.ca and I'd gladly add you. For those of you who I don't know, who have stumbled upon this blog through another connection - don't be shy. I'd love to know how you found it, and who we both know. I'm not afraid of strangers...just leery of 23 international viewings spanning the globe. Woodstock, New Brunswick and Agrepia, Peru (sp?) - I know you read this...but would be interested to know who you are. Gotta love the location reports that SiteMeter offers.

I guess this is it for this one here. Thanks for stopping in...hope that you'll find us in our new locale.

Blessings.

posted by Sabrina @ 5:32 PM 18 comments

eight weeks and honesty.

It continues to amaze me at how fast time is flying by. While in reality it continues to move a second at a time, each second becomes a smaller percentage of my life - and so in comparison to the moments lived previously, time seems to be moving at a swifter pace. Gavin is eight weeks old today. Eight wonderful, tiring, joy-giving, exciting weeks. There is now a drawer for clothes he has grown out of, and as I put a 6 month sleeper on him yesterday I was astounded at how much he has grown and changed.

Often over these past weeks I have been met with the question 'how are you?' It is often a thoughtful, caring question posed by one of the many wonderful people near and dear to me. I would often respond with an enthusiastic 'really good' - which ultimately was true. I was and continue to be doing really well. I am healthy, sleeping a sufficient (though not nearly ideal) amount of hours, eating enough (do 10 chocolate chip cookies in one day count as enough?), and am feeling quite stable emotionally.

While I have nothing to complain about, and many blessings to be thankful for, I think I am slowly being able to be more honest with myself about my current state. It was nice to visit with a friend today and share a bit about the transition. While quite smooth, it is not without its difficulties. I feel as though I am on the verge of coming out of an emotional stupor that had overwhelmed me these past couple months. It is as though I went into 'survival mode' and in doing so stopped evaluating my own emotional health so that I might have enough gusto to care for Gavin.

So in summary, here's how things are going.

1. I miss Jesus. Quiet times with him, while on the rise, are not as frequent as I desire them to be. I struggle with being able to quiet my heart long enough to really rest in his presence. It seems quiet moments are so easily filled with laundry, supper, and quite soon - an online course.

2. I miss Ken. Don't worry - he hasn't gone anywhere, it's just that relationship dynamics change when a new person is introduced. Combine this with an emotionally exhausted and often preoccupied wife, and marriage looks different than it once did. I've realized that the amount of change that has occurred in my day-to-day far exceeds that which Ken has endured (as he is still at work for 8 hours a day). This dramatic shift in my waking hours has inevitably altered the way in which Ken and I interact, as our conversations have a very different flavor to them than they previously had. It will take some time to learn how we work again now that Gavin is a part of our lives.

3. I miss people. After a message at church last Saturday about God at work I was reminded of the many rich relationships I have formed with people at my old place of employment. Being in an office environment has been an incredible blessing. Not because I have access to email and facebook at my continual disposal, but rather because it is an environment that promotes consistent interaction between employees. This interaction makes it possible for people to invite me in to small corners of their lives - an absolute privilege that makes paper shuffling, filing, and other menial tasks extremely worthwhile. I miss hearing of the joys and sorrows of those people...hearing about their weekend adventures, their frustrations with fiancees and mother-in-laws, and the crazy things their kids are doing. I miss actively loving people through listening, and being able to live as light in a dim environment.

4. I love to cook. And even enjoy baking more than I had previously, because once supper is ready there's no other meal to make. I appreciate the time at home to do things that bring peace to my heart. For many years I lamented my lack of hobbies, often feeling like I was not good at things because of this apparent shortage. When forced to introduce myself in a new setting and share something I liked to do - I'd often clam up and feel frustrated that nothing came to mind. Then, after being confined in rural Saskatchewan during the heart of winter with mountains of homework, I realized cooking is indeed a way in which I can express creativity.

5. I am expectant. No, not expecting...expectant. With a new phase of life underway, I am excited about the ministry that Jesus has for me. I am looking forward to discovering more fully the ways in which God has gifted me, and will wait with open eyes and ears as to where these gifts could be put to use. God is moving in our midst, and I desire to join in and take part in the work he is doing.

I'll end there...and for those who just want photos, here is our little man...enjoy the cuteness. We sure do.

posted by Sabrina @ 5:14 PM 2 comments

pictoral update.

Gavin is catching some zzzzz's, and so I thought I'd put up a few shots for those who aren't on facebook. Here's our man, getting so big already. He continues to smile and make cute noises, and we continue to grow in our adoration of him.

posted by Sabrina @ 11:27 AM 3 comments

mid-season reflections.

The new year is fast approaching. Another year, another birthday on the way, yet I have a sneaking suspicion that the year ahead will be like no other before. With the new year comes fresh perspective. Hope that the 364 days that follow will be filled with rich relationships, new memories, and lots of laughter. Hope that each day will be set before God as an offering to Him. Hope that in this year, just maybe, that I might grow to be more like Christ to those around me.

Christmas this year was a bit anti-climactic. Ken and I missed every Advent service at church that so often serve to help prepare my heart for the celebration of Jesus' birth. Not to mention that our house was in shambles and lacked any evidence that the holidays were upon us. There was no smell of Christmas cookies radiating from our kitchen, no lights, and no tree. And regretfully, I did not stop to reflect in such a way that would make the season more meaningful.

And so it came and went. Time with family was enjoyable (as always), and I was reminded again of God's faithfulness in drawing me in to Ken's family. For years growing up I would wrestle with God as to why I was placed in my family of origin. Although they are all generally nice people, I lacked any real connection with them and it seemed on so many levels that I just did not fit. My heart longed for family who walked closely with the Lord, family who said what they meant and meant what they said, family who really listened and longed to support one another. What a gift Ken's family has been, and continues to be.

Gavin celebrated one month of life over the holidays as well. It is surprising how fast it has flown by, and even more astounding just how much he has changed in the weeks following his arrival. With one month of being alive on the 'outside' came smiles as well - and Ken and I are like giddy school children when we get goofy grins from our little man.

posted by Sabrina @ 11:16 AM 3 comments